Sunday, January 11, 2015

Sunday Brunch - And that awkward moment when you tell someone you're an author and they tell you about the book they wrote, or thought about writing, or were told to write back in 1998...

It never fails. Okay, it rarely fails. There are exceptions to everything. Just ask my daughter the extrovert who will put on a public performance on any sidewalk, anytime, anywhere, but then will randomly claim she's too shy to sing in front of her own mother...

Anyway, as I was saying...It doesn't happen often, but, on rare occasions, I do venture out of the house and mingle with the other human beings I sometimes watch from afar through my living room window. I know they're out there. And I like that they're out there. I just don't always like to talk to them. It's an introvert thing. Not an 'I'm a total biatch' thing. Truth is, people scare me a little. Okay, truth is, they scare me a lot.

On these outings, it's not uncommon for me to meet new people (I am a lonely introvert, closely surrounded by people-loving extroverts. It's my cross to bear in life, and I'm surviving...some days better than others). Inevitably, my mother, or someone, will say, 'oh, yeah, she's an author,' which may briefly trigger a moment of interest in my work, but more often than not, it triggers some long lost, buried - but not dead, memory of their work. Shockingly, I've discovered since coming out of the writer closet, I am not as alone as I thought. Or, even as I'd hoped. It seems, in fact, that EVERYONE has written a book, thought about writing a book, been told to write a book, would like to write a book or has PLANS to write a book. Which is awesome and all, but frankly, I don't give a fuck. 

I don't want to hear about the publisher who wanted to pick up your children's book three decades ago. I don't want to read your poetry collection. I definitely do NOT want to listen to you break down the table of contents of your book, or hear about the writing process in general. It's all right up there with having a person who knows I was born in Germany, but now live in the U.S, tell me what it's like to look out of an airplane window. How the fuck do you think I got here, lady? By boat?

Don't get me wrong. If you are in fact, a fellow writer, published or otherwise, I WANT to talk about writing with you. It's my thing, it's what I love, and finding others who share that love and connecting with them is a beautiful and greatly appreciated thing. Also, if you are new to writing and have a genuine interest and are looking for genuine advice or feedback, I am always happy to give it! Always. Supporting each other on this writing adventure, is what being a part of this Indie Community is all about to me.

All I'm saying is this. 

If when we meet and you tell me that you're a cop, or a teacher, or a doctor, or a barista, or a what-the-fuck-ever your calling is in life, consider whether or not you'd like me to tell you my experiences and thoughts regarding your chosen profession, preferably in a very detailed and time consuming way that suggests the information is brand spanking new to you and highly important to your general existence. Because, as a writer with an extensive imagination, I should warn you, in one way or another, I've done them all.

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