Facebook statuses are cool and all, but I find the comments tend to be a lot more entertaining. So, that's where I was when I found this gem last night ~
"Feminism killed chivalry."
And some douche who replied, "Amen." right below it.
Initially, I did find the ignorance humorous, and briefly considered leaving a vocabulary lesson in the comments below. But, I don't tend to engage, and it wasn't my page...so, not wanting to piss off my friend's idiot friends out of respect for said friend, I passed on responding.
That was then. Now, I've had twenty-four hours to stew in it, and I've decided, fuck it - I'm going to say my piece. I'm just going to do it here.
So, let's start at the top.
Feminism: the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities.
Chivalry: an honorable and polite way of behaving, especially toward women
Tell me again how feminism killed chivalry. Because I see no correlation between the two. If chivalry is dead for you boys, it's because you let it die by not being chivalrous. It's that fucking simple.
But it's cool. Just blame that shit on women wanting equal rights. It is, after all, the root of all evil.
Meanwhile, let's explore the much deeper underlying issue I believe you were trying to address when you made your ridiculous statement.
Strong, independent women are emasculating men and no longer appreciate true (super manly) gentlemen.
It sounds less ignorant, but it's not.
As a romance author, I can tell you without doubt, that today's woman is starving, STARVING!! for the strong, alpha males you ding dongs think have gone out of style. Don't believe me? Go google how much money women spent on romance novels last year. Then google current popular trends in the same genre. If you have one handy, ask an author busy churning out novels starring billionaires, badass bikers, fighters, soldiers and rock stars. Business is booming. Because they all have one thing in common. A strong, powerful male lead who's protective, loyal and honors his responsibilities.
From where I'm sitting, it's not the women who are causing the problem by asserting themselves, standing up for their own worth and taking charge of their own destinies. It's the men who refuse to evolve and meet them at their new (higher) level of standards.
You can't have a moderately successful career, two roommates at your bachelor pad while having marginally managed to keep a cactus alive and then think you're going to roll up on a woman who's busy busting ass and taking names while she works her day job, raises her kids and still finds a way to not look like she doesn't sleep (which she doesn't) and has time to work out (which she doesn't) thinking she's going to be impressed. She's not. What the hell are you bringing to the table? Your ability to open a damn door? Thanks. I got that.
Chivalry is a wonderful thing. But it's so much bigger than picking up the tab or holding a door.
The belief that men and women should have equal rights.
Such an important word and yet, it's so often completely misunderstood. Turned ugly.
You know what's ugly?
That in 2016, I can sit in the audience at a comedy show and listen to a comic make jokes about his woman needing a beating and hear the loud roar of male laughter all around me.
That last night, I caught part of a movie in which a woman was duped into sleeping with a man she didn't know. A stranger. When she believed she was safely in bed with her husband. And again, it was intended to be funny.
It's not. It's rape.
It's 2016 and we live in a society where we still can't tell the difference between a joke and horrific crimes against women.
So, no. Feminism hasn't killed chivalry. Hell, it's barely put a dent in the evil shit it's meant to snuff out.
I suppose you're wondering right about now what any of this has to do with books and writing.
Except, I'm an author. And a feminist. And every single fierce, fiery female character I write falls for a hero who for damn sure is doing his part to keep chivalry alive and kicking. She wouldn't waste her time on him if he wasn't.
And neither would I.